Dr. Layla Salek, PhD, is retired from a twenty-year private practice. She trained professionals and parents in behavior psychology techniques to help children with behavioral disorders. She sits on multiple boards and is the founder of Susie Bean Gives (www.susiebean.org).
From a young age, she has experienced some people as colors -- her mother brown, her father green, her husband rainbow. As she notes, sometimes, when words fail, colors speak.
Her new book, Chaos in Color, is the captivating story of Layla’s journey from childhood to adulthood with a mother who suffered from untreated bipolar disorder. Each chapter paints a vivid, heartbreaking picture of the abuse, neglect, and trauma that she experienced as she grew up at the mercy of her mother’s bipolar swings, an incompetent mental health system, and the strangers with whom she was often left.
Layla is also a travel photographer and writer and is working on her second book, Dear Caregiver.
Writer’s Life was able to talk with Layla about her career, her new book, the messages within and her inspirations, here is what she shared:
Tell us a little about your background and career.
Until recently, I worked with children with severe behavior disorders. I wrote behavior plans, trained parents/teachers on the behaviors plans and consulted on plan until child's behavior was appropriate for setting. I also founded Susie Bean Gives, a 501c3 foundation, where we gave 100% of donations to children who could not afford necessary services/therapy for autism or mental illness. We reached our goal of 500,000 dollars in scholarships to1500 Texas children. It was extremely rewarding!
I have also been a travel photographer for the last 15 years. I continue to photograph and write.
Have you always considered yourself a writer?
I always knew I wanted to write about my childhood experience. My intention has been to turn the trauma into a learning and healing experience for me and others. For that reason, I went into psychology to help other children and felt as though with each child, I was saving my mom. I tried to write about the experience years ago but the voice did not sound like me and it was labored. Therefore, most of my writing had been centered around psychological or neurological research for journals. Then in 2018, I had the intention to write my childhood stories for my mother, so we could finally have tough conversations. Then family urged me to publish. I have been writing since the first book and now I’m on my third.
Tell us about your new book.
Chaos in Color is a memoir of my childhood experiences being raised in Texas by a single, bipolar mother. Often left alone in a trailer or with strangers, I was forgotten by my unmedicated mother and a broken mental health system. Thankfully, I had many loving friends and family around me. All experiences are captured through my ability to see many loved ones as a color. Therefore, when words fail, colors speak.
What are the messages you want readers to take away from reading your work?
I intentionally and explicitly detail my childhood trauma. It is important to me for readers to understand that anything and everything can be healed and forgiven.
What advice do you have for others who are looking to write a book?
Write about what you know, have a unique voice and style that conveys your personal perspective and set aside an hour a day to write.
What authors have inspired you along the way?
David Sedaris, Jeannette Walls, Andrew Bridge, Joy Harjo and Rick Rubin. Consequently, I was ecstatic when Andrew Bridge endorsed my memoir.
Chaos in Color is a very important story- did you find it hard to put feelings and experiences down on paper?
My memoir is all my blood, guts and heart on paper. Often, I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I wrote. But it was not hard putting the stories on paper, they simply poured out of me from another space and time. I simply transcribed. The stories wanted to be told in my unique voice and style. They did not come in order but they came all hours of the day and night.
Was this book part of a healing process for you?
Yes, it was the most cathartic experience, and I have been through years of therapy and have a PHD in psychology. When finished, I felt as though 60 pounds had been lifted from my body.
You are able to see certain people in color. Studies show that synesthesia only occurs in 2% of the population. Do you view it as a gift?
First of all, growing up, I thought everyone saw people in colors or light. I didn't know I was unique until graduate school. I can only see five people in my life as a color. Everyone else appears as a white light. There is no rhyme or reason to whom has a color. Some of the closest people to me do not. I'm not sure that it adds a lot to my daily life, but it is a talking point. It was helpful as a child in dealing with my mother and it is great as a writer to convey my experience. I find it more of a gift and talent that at times, I can see music.
If people could take away one single message from this book, what would it be?
In order to heal and set yourself free, you must forgive everyone, for everything, all the time. Our only purpose is to forgive.
What are you working on now and what can we expect from you next?
I am almost finished with a book called Dear Caregiver. It is a dairy of sorts that outlines topics that caregivers of mentally ill loved ones deal with on a daily basis. The intention is to validate and enhance the caregiver experience. Secondly, I just started a book called Flush My Head: A Continuous Ideation. This is a book to help those battling thoughts of suicide since the incidence of such is at an all-time high. It explores every aspect of the phenomena and offers step by step help. With this topic, silence equals death, so it is time to start discussing.
Where can people find out more about you and your work?
Instagram: @laylasusie
